Thursday, August 25, 2011

What a long strange trip it's been...

and it's not over yet! Still in the midst of everything here. My son has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder as well, and of course his presents opposite of his sisters so that they can feed off each other and drive me even crazier. Waiting to get his therapy started. We'll likely be looking at speech therapy for him again too.
Despite the recommendation of every expert who has dealt with my daughter, the school continues to refuse evaluation. I really should be looking into how to battle them, but I just can't find the energy. I know they are breaking the law by refusing my request for evaluation, but I just don't know if I'm ready to fight that battle on my own.
I'm beat. Seriously, this has all take such a toll on me, I don't recognize myself anymore. I'm so angry all the time, and when I'm not angry, I'm crying. I can't take the constant fighting, crying, screaming, anger, etc, etc from these kids. There is rarely a moment of peace and quiet in this house unless they are both sleeping. My almost 4 year old will not stop jumping and climbing on everyone and everything, he still puts everything in his mouth and bounces off the walls all day long like his sister does. My daughter suddenly hates school and never wants to go, but they tell me how great she does all day. At home, she's like a bomb ready to explode and you never know what will light the very short fuse. She alternates between that and crying that she just wants to be with me all the time, as if she were a 2 year old with separation anxiety.
People keep telling me that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I'm thinking God got it wrong with me. No one should have to handle this much crap by themselves. I trust in God, but how can I continue to believe He has a plan in place when no one can give me any answers to my questions, still, and no one can advise me on how to make things better for my family. I can't grin and bear it any more. It's killing me.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

It's been rough

Lots going on, many visits to doctors, therapists, trying to work with the school, participated in an Autism walk, incorrectly learned the brushing technique and possibly caused the multiple lengthy meltdowns my daughter had yesterday.
In the meantime, I've just been really desperate for support. I was so lucky to find a Facebook page with wonderful people on it, where I can go and talk, vent, learn, whatever. But it sure would be nice to actually be surrounded by a support group. With the exception of a couple of people, I feel like I literally have to beg for some support and/or understanding, and I still don't generally get it. It's discouraging, depressing, and it takes a toll on a gal. Hubby has been out of town a lot and dealing with everything by myself, 24 hours a day, is wearing me down. I haven't been at this low of a point in my depression for as long as I can remember and that scares me. Obviously, I will do what I have to do and that is keep truckin' along and do what is best for my family.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011


Sounds like a superhero name doesn't it? Well, it is. My daughter has officially been diagnosed with Asperger's and she is definitely a superhero. I will admit to being a bit overwhelmed, despite knowing that this was coming. Despite thinking I was, I actually wasn't truly prepared for everything involved in this. I've spent countless hours (days, weeks, months) researching it all, and the past 2 days have been spent fine-tuning a letter to the school requesting an IEP evaluation. Considering her teacher thinks she's a model student because she is super smart, reads well above her level, always brings in her homework, and doesn't cause any disruptions, I imagine the school is going to fight me on this. What they don't see is the extreme meltdowns and anger at home, especially after maintaining control all day in school. They don't see her telling me that she just spends recess by herself because no one wants to play with her. The don't see the hours we sometimes spend on a single homework sheet that should not take more than 5 or 10 minutes, because the instant she doesn't know exactly what to do, she shuts down, often screaming, and it takes a very long time before she is able to focus enough to attempt the problem again. They don't see how she acts differently from the other kids in a group. The other kids will be playing together and she will be off pouting by herself, telling you when asked that the other kids are mad at her and won't let her play, when really she is the one who is distancing herself and refusing to be part of the group. They don't see how my heart breaks when this happens, and how her heart is going to break when she starts to realize that she is not being included in everything the neighbor kids all do together.
They don't see that she is clearly fighting a battle every day and that I will do everything in my power to make sure she wins.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My name is *********... and my daughter is autistic.

I'm practicing. Finished up what should be the last of the testing today... now we are just awaiting the final results. Our psychologist did verify for me today that we are looking at either pdd-nos or Asperger's. My daughter is definitely on the Spectrum, we're just not sure precisely where. She is high functioning, but we definitely need some help dealing with all of this. This is not going away and we all need to learn how to deal with this so that we can be sure we are doing what is best for our family.

Friday, January 21, 2011


Let me start with an apology, as it has been quite some time since I wrote anything here. We've just been truckin' along, doing the same things. Mainly trying to get things figured out with my daughter. She has been diagnosed ADHD, and we have been seeing a really good specialist regarding the possible Asperger's or pdd-nos. We're very happy so far with how thorough he has been, as well as his commitment to finding all the pieces of this puzzle so we can get some answers, and therefore some help!

So, based on the direction things are heading, I finally ordered a book that has been sitting on my wish list for months. It's called "Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome" and I must say that I am already impressed and I'm only on page 14! I have been wanting a book that would talk about the specifics of Asperger's in girls versus boys, because most studies and books are about boys. Considering this is still considered to be a primarily male disorder and there is a definite lack of studies done on females, I'm very excited to learn more about the elusive Aspie girl.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011


Is anyone familiar with the Gilliam Aspergers Disorder Scale? We completed both the GARS and the GADS for my daughter. She tested as being clearly not autistic on the GARS, but she ended up in about the 16th percentile on the GADS which the psychologist said is concerning. It doesn't mean she is definitely Asperger's, he said, but that more testing is needed to determine whether or not she is.

Does anyone have any insight on the GADS and what the results mean, as well as maybe what other tests we can expect to help verify or rule our Asperger's?

Thank you!