Monday, July 30, 2007

UPDATED: Majority rules and life sometimes sucks

So, counting my family's predictions, that's 5 votes for boy and 2 for girl.

It's a boy!

Got some possible bad news at the ultrasound. They couldn't 'see' the 4 chambers of the heart. All we could see were 3 - what appeared to be 2 top chambers and 1 large bottom chamber. Ultrasound tech of course says don't worry, we'll just have you come back in a couple weeks to try again. I of course leave freaked out. I don't understand how we could clearly see the heart beating from multiple views and could clearly see the 2 top chambers but would just "not be able to get a clear view of the 4 separate chambers." Seems if you can see the heart pretty well, you should be able to see all of it. But I could be wrong.
Minimal research has shown me that a 3 chamber heart is usually called "Hypoplastic Heart Syndrome". It's not good. It's a major heart defect and would definitely require numerous surgeries. I'm waiting for a dr to call me so I can try to get more information. Perhaps it is just that they weren't able to get a clear picture. Maybe there is nothing wrong. But until I know for sure, I'm going to be pretty freaked out. It's easy to say "Don't worry, there's probably nothing wrong," but it's a lot harder to actually do it!

Please pray for my little guy.

My hubby went up to the OB clinic, told them what happened and that I was freaking out. We got lucky in that the nurse on duty was not only 28 weeks pregnant, but had also had a similar thing happen to her and her husband worked in radiology. So she called down to radiology and got the scoop. Then she called me, telling me my hubby should get major points because if he hadn't gone up there, I would not have been called today.
Basically, they were not able to see 4 chambers in the heart, as we already knew. However, everything else appears to be fine and as of right now they don't see a reason to be concerned. While it is true that we won't know for sure until at least the next ultrasound, they aren't concerned right now because sometimes these things happen, where they just can't get a good view. It's not common, but it does happen. SO they cannot tell me for sure that there is nothing wrong, because they could not see 4 chambers, but they don't think there is anything wrong.

I feel better knowing that nothing else appeared to be wrong and that they are not concerned. However, if they were not at all concerned, they wouldn't bother with another ultrasound. And they would have told me that there is definitely nothing wrong. So until I see a healthy normal heart I will be worried. We are going to assume that our son is just fine, because we have no reason to believe otherwise. But in the back of my mind, there is going to be that little nagging thing called doubt. So please keep the prayers up until we know for sure that he is ok!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

General update

I finally got the stitches out Thursday. It wasn't fun. The skin around the wound had died off and the stitches had pulled through it so that they were down inside the wound and wrapped around raw inside skin instead of a nice healed outer edge like they were supposed to. Since they pulled through, the wound had opened up some and there is a gap of raw skin. The stitches were impossible to cut with scissors from a regular suture kit because there was no slack in them - they were in so tight and down into the wound so there was no way to get the scissors under them to snip. The nurse went to go get a scalpel and returned with what she said were smaller scissors. I questioned it because they looked too curved to be scissors. But what do I know, right? So I used the tweezers to pull up as much as possible on a stitch and she used the 'scissors' to try and cut it. Yeah, what she had was a clamp, not scissors, so they locked closed on the stitch and caused quite a bit of pain and some bleeding before she got them unlocked.
So next she tried a scalpel. All she kept accomplishing with that was to cut my raw skin and make it bleed. I finally told her I couldn't take it anymore, it was hurting to bad and obviously the stitches weren't coming out this way. Sos he got the doctor, who also tried with the scalpel, but the wound was just too raw to pull on the stitches enough to get the scalpel in. So he ended up giving me 2 shots of lidocaine in my thumb to try to numb it. It didn't numb it, but it took the edge off the pain so I was able to tug the stitches up enough that the nurse was able to cut them with the scalpel. By the time we were done, I had been there for an hour and I was covered in sweat from the pain.
I swear, I don't think it helped at all to have the stitches in. My thumb right now doesn't look any better than I think it would have if I had just bandaged it up to let it heal without going to the ER. Instead of the nice smooth scar the ER doc told me I would have, I've got an open wound that still has a lot of healing to do, and I will probably have a decent sized (for a thumb anyways), possibly lumpy, scar when it's all done. It still hurts, pretty bad at times, and I still can't do much with my left hand because moving the hand wrong causes to tendons and skin to pull on my thumb. For example, I can't put my left hand flat on the coffee table to help me get up from the floor. SO I'm still feeling pretty useless. And I have no idea when I'll be able to crochet, or do anything else with my thumb for that matter, again. It's been almost exactly 2 weeks since I hurt it and I am so ready to be done with all this crap!

Okay, enough bitching. On a lighter note, my 20 week ultrasound is tomorrow morning at 11am. I'm still sad that my hubby and daughter can't go in with me, but we are very excited to find out if we are having a boy or a girl, and I am thrilled that I'll get to see the growing baby. It's been a long time since the last ultrasound! I just hope s/he cooperates with us so we can see everything!

I've also finally started reading the new Harry Potter book (thanks MamaChristy!). I'd guess I'm around 1/5 of the way through it. I promise though, no spoilers! If I decide to talk about the book at all, I will warn you in the title and again in the beginning of the post so I don't ruin anything for you!

Well, that's about it for now. Wish me luck for tomorrow! And feel free to make some predictions as to whether this baby is a boy or a girl! Actually, I think I might withhold the results until at least a couple people make a guess! Come on, humor me! You've got a 50% chance of being right! If it helps, I'll get you started: hubby thinks it's a girl, my daughter and I both think it is a boy. And my mom thinks it's a boy. Of course, we've all been wrong before! ;)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

They grew up fast!

Baby Mockingbird Update....

Here is how they looked a couple days after hatching.

They are all grown up!

Cute huh?

We had a big storm the other day and the nest was basically obliterated. We found one bird sitting right by the nest (that's him in the pics), another one lower down in the tree, wedged among some branches, and there were 2 missing. After much searching we found one more in the grass next to our neighbors' driveway. He seemed to possibly have an injured leg. We rebuilt the nest as best we could and put the 3 birds in it. We never found the 4th baby. BTW, that's what the advice online suggested - touching the babies does not cause the parents to abandon them.

The next morning one of them was dead in the grass (I'm guessing the injured one) and 2 remained in the tree. Later that day only 1 remained in the tree and by the end of the day they were all gone.

I believe, according to the internet, the babies were of the age where they would be leaving the nest. They were not ready to fly yet, but apparently they leave the nest and live in the shrubbery while momma bird teaches them to forage for food and such. Though we have not seen the 2 other babies, we hope they have survived! Unfortunately, with all the rain we've had they've gotten some odds stacked against them - lots of crickets have led to a big frog population which in turn has brought out the snakes and lizards. I hope the little birdies have managed to avoid the snakes and lizards! I sure try to!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Stitches are staying around...

Went to get them out today and the doc wants to wait a few more days, though 10 is the max on stitches - that'll be Thursday - because there is some dead skin on the top section of the laceration and it's not going to hold it shut once the stitches come out. So we wait as long as possible before taking the stitches out because I'm going to have an open wound once they are out and we want it to heal as much as possible before then. Sounds fun huh?

Placenta brain is getting worse - last night I dropped a bowl and it shattered all over the kitchen floor. My hubby is wondering what's next! Hopefully no more trips to the ER!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

That just might be a boy....

that's what my husband said last night, for the first time this entire pregnancy. He has been insisting this baby is another girl. Anyways, I called him upstairs last night (really, I called him on the phone, he's been kicked out of the bed since I got hurt) because the baby was moving around again. S/he is very active late at night. So, he puts his hand on my belly, low down where I was feeling the baby. A very short time later, he was rewarded with a huge kick! I mean seriously, this baby is a kicker! Right away he said that we just might have a boy in there. Obviously, strength of kick is no way to tell, but it was funny to hear him actually say it could be a boy.

SO yes, definitely feeling baby moving. Mainly late at night. It's weird, because this is right around the time I first started feeling my daughter move, yet I've been feeling this baby for 6-7 weeks already. And feeling it strongly for at least a week. Strange how different some things are with the second pregnancy. I certainly didn't expect to feel strong kicks already and definitely not strong enough so my husband could feel them! Very pleasant surprise.

Stitches coming out tomorrow morning. Thumb is feeling much better, though I'm terrifed of getting the stitched out because it just doesn't seem healed much. Gentle cleaning causes minor bleeding - I've learned not to touch the incision itself in any way, just clean around it and run soapy water over it. Also, if I move my hand wrong or try to do too much, it pulls open a little and bleeds. I'm kind of hoping they decide the stitched should stay a couple more days, but at the same time I'm sick of them. I'm ready for it to be healed.... but from what I've read, it won't be completely healed for 6 months. I imagine most of that is stuff occurring under the skin and all that I won't really be aware of. I hope!

My daughter has a bit of an upset tummy tonight... please pray she feels better tomorrow! I'm just not up to dealing with a sick child....

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Creative Solutions...

I dozed off on the couch (perc0cet does that) & inadvertently clenched my fingers... right into my thumb. Ouch! To hopefully prevent such events in the future, I taped my 1st 2 fingers together with a popsicle stick, so I can't bend them.

Creativity or desperate act? As long as it works I don't care!

A prettier picture...

Not of my thumb, I promise.

I promised one of my best friends that I'd make her a necklace for her birthday... which was in March... so though I am very late with the gift, I did finally get it made last week. But with the thumb incident, I'm not sure when I'll get to the post office. So if she checks this blog in the meantime, at least she can see what it looks like. With a bonus bracelet because I feel horrible that it's so late! Happy Birthday!

Because I'm gross like that....

So in case anyone has a strong sense of curiousity....

and a strong stomach to go with it....

Here is a picture of my stitched up thumb laceration....

Because I'm gross and weird like that....

And my curiousity gets the best of me....

So I would want to see....

Though I'm trying to give you plenty of warning....

So if you don't want to see....

Don't scroll down any further....

Because you might be grossed out....

Okay, if you're still reading, you must want to see....

So here it is....

Taken Tuesday night when we changed the bandage...

Which was again stuck to the wound...

Though thankfully not as bad....

Wow, you really do want to see it huh?


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Finally, some relief!

I went to the dr today.... my laceration was still bleeding when the ER doc bandaged it so it had scabbed onto the gauze pad. The slightest movement was causing the gauze to move and pull on my stitches. After much effort and much pain, we finally got the gauze off. The nurse cleaned it up and between the 2 of us we got it bandaged back up. Doc gave me the strongest pain med they had at the clinic and was "safe" during pregnancy. A couple hours after taking it, I finally felt some relief! For the first time since I hurt it (~10:30pm Sunday), the pain is bearable. Obviously it still hurts and will for a while, but it's not so bad that I am gasping in pain and moaning all the time! I am so grateful!

Stitches should come out Monday.... I expect it will be a few weeks before I can crochet again! I'll just be happy when I can do my own hair again....

Hope everyone else had a great weekend and is doing well!

Monday, July 16, 2007

7 hours & 7 stitches later..... *updated*

Yup, I spent last night in th ER. Stupid me sliced my thumb on a can of diced tomatoes. I so totally know better than to pull a lid up, but apparently placenta brain struck. Thumb looks pretty nasty and hurts like a sonofabe-atch. Because of the baby, they were hesitant to give me anything too strong for the pain - came home with the lidocaine completely worn off already (started fading before the last 2 stitches were in) and some vic0din that is not working. Called ER and OB clinic and all I can do is go back to the ER for a re-evaluation. I made an appt for tomorrow with the regular general care dr for 11am, but I'm seriously considering the ER again. The pain is almost more than I can take but I don't want to spend 10 hours at the ER for them to tell me tough crap (mi1it@ry hates giving out pain meds - motrin should fix everything in their opinion). So, I'm here, suffering, not sure yet what I'll do. Probably wait til tomorrow because I must sleep tonight (1 3/4 hrs this morning didn't cut it) and that won't happen if I go to the ER.

Please pray the pain lessens and/or they give me something better tomorrow! Thanks!

*UPDATE* hubby came home a little early & let me go to bed, despite having had zero sleep himself. I asked him to wake me up at pill time, planning to let him snatch an hour or 2 as well, but I just couldn't get up. I finally got up at ~7:15 to help with bedtime and that wonderful man was coming up the stairs with my dinner! Sweet huh? And it wasn't spaghetti - that's what we were making last night, for tonights dinner.... when he mentioned picking the missing ingredients up on his way home from work I started crying and told him I would throw up if he made me eat spaghetti tonight. The thought of the can of diced tomatoes and the freshness of everything in my head just filled me with dread. So we had frozen pizza.
Anyways, still hurting, and planning on seeing the doc tomorrow at 11am. Figure if nothing else, they can take care of cleaning my ouchy and rebandaging it.
Alas, I cannot ice it Furrow - no removing the bandage for 24-48 hours and no water except a little to wash it then.
I'm keeping it elevated nicely and have had wonderful help. MamaChristy (sorry, no link with one hand) raced over at our urgent call last night and stayed until we got hom... then she came back before my daughter woke up and helped with everything - feeding us, helping my daughter on the potty, pulling my hair back for me - and that's on top of cleaning my bloody kitchen last night! And from what I remember and what she said, there was blood everywhere! Thank God for good friends. You truly do find out who's a real friend in times of need - I don't know what we would have done without her!
Thanks for everyones concern and sympathy! I'll definitely keep you posted (want gory pics?), but the one handed typing is tough so it may not be as much next time. Thanks again everyone.

Oh, one more thing - definite baby movement now and even some felt by my hand on my belly! Very cool!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Anemia incident continued.....

Okay, some of you mentioned taking action against the clinic (writing a letter, or lawsuit-type action if something bad comes of it).... here's my dilemma: We are mi1it@ry and therefore we go to a g0vernment hospital on a mi1it@ry base. The g0v foots our bill and most of the staff are also mi1it@ry. While I could write a letter to the commander or whoever in charge of the hospital, I have to worry that anything I may stir up could fall back badly on my husband. As far as lawsuits go, I'm not even sure it'd be possible in this situation.... anyone know?
I think what I'm going to do (as soon as I remember during business hours) is call the clinic (even though it's a hospital, there are all the different clinics, like OB, peds, radiology, etc) and see what else I can find out about this "low CBC" - if they can give me what exactly was low, like hemoglobin or what - and how low it was. Then I'll look it up on Dr G00gle and see how bad it is, or if I don't really need to worry as much. I'm just concerned because of the possible consequences of the anemia and the fact that they put me on a fairly hefty dose of supplements.
Thanks for all of the concern everyone! Hopefully I am worrying for nothing.... as soon as I know more I will of course let you all know!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Pregnancy-related Anemia

I think I mentioned before that I found out at my last OB appointment that my blood tests indicated I was anemic. So, even though they discovered this 6 weeks prior, they didn't bother telling me about it until my next appointment. Upon research, I have discovered the following things which really cause me to be extra ticked off that they didn't call me:

1. If you remain anemic during the first two trimesters, you're at a higher risk for having a preterm delivery or a low-birthweight baby, so it is something to take seriously. And if you're severely deficient, it could affect your baby's iron stores at birth, increasing his risk for anemia later in infancy.
Iron-deficiency anemia affects your health as well. It can sap your energy and make it harder for your body to fight infection. And if you're anemic later in pregnancy, you're more likely to have problems if you lose a lot of blood when you give birth. You may feel dizzy, have a rapid heart rate, or have other symptoms that require you to stay in the hospital an extra day or two. You're also more likely to need a blood transfusion.
Info taken from here.

2. Once the patient is started on oral iron therapy, it takes about 6 - 10 weeks for hemoglobin to return to normal level. However in IDA, iron stores are exhausted and need to be replenished. Replenishment of iron stores begins only after hemoglobin returns to normal. Hence stopping iron soon after hemoglobin is normal means inadequate therapy and predisposes patient to recurrence. Absorption of iron diminishes after hemoglobin returns to normal and hence replenishing iron stores is a very slow process and takes about 3 - 4 months. Thus iron therapy should be continued for 5 - 6 months. Info taken from here.

So basically, even though it takes at least 6 weeks for levels to begin returning to normal, they didn't bother calling me to allow me that extra 6 weeks of time. Since I didn't start on the iron supplements until I was 16 weeks pregnant, that means I will be 22 weeks pregnant before my levels start rising back to normal. I will be approaching (or in) my third trimester by the time my levels are back to where they should be. So thanks to the stupid clinic not bothering to call me, I could technically remain anemic for the first 2 trimesters, which puts me at risk for pre-term labor and a low birth weight baby. And possibly a blood transfusion, since I assume I'll lose a decent amount of blood with the c-section. Wonderful, thank you so much. I swear I just want to slap someone in that office.

Now, I don't know what my levels were - she just said my CBC came back low. I didn't know enough at the time to ask for specifics. Hey, to me low is low, and if they thought it was low enough to put me on an extra 130mg of iron a day (65mg twice daily), on top of what is in my prenatals, then it must have been fairly low. And of course, just because the bad things are possible, it doesn't mean they will happen. But still, doesn't this seem like something that they should have contacted me about? The policy at the clinic is that they will only call you if there is something wrong with your test results - they specifically tell you that if you don't hear from them, it means everything came back normal. Obviously everything wasn't normal, yet they didn't feel the need to call me. Or more likely, nobody thought of it, since you see a different doctor or nurse every time so your chart just gets passed around.

So, now I have to time my life around these pills - They are to be taken on an empty stomach and I can't have dairy, coffee, tea, among other things, for at least an hour before and 2 hours after I take them, so my meals are being planned around my pills. Great side effects too - stomach cramps, constipation, wonderful stuff. Of course, it is all worth it for my baby, but I must say I miss my 2-3 times a week coffee and I am darned sick of being exhausted all the time. I hope those levels set a record in returning to normal fast! Not that I expect the clinic to even bother checking.....

So, does anyone have any info about this whole anemia in pregnancy? Anything to enlighten me, or to make me feel less concerned?

Sorry for all the bitching, but I'm just a little peeved at my clinic right now. On top of all this anemia crap, I went to have bloodwork done, and now I find out they didn't do all the tests they were supposed to because the doctor forgot to put one in. SO now I have to go back, driving 45 minutes each way and waiting up to an hour for my turn, and give blood again so I can get the triple screen, or quad screen, whatever it is called. My veins are not good, and I seem to always get the newbie who can't get my one good vein so insists on poking around at several others before finally agreeing to let someone else do it. Even though I always tell them straight off that I only have that one good vein and many have tried and many have failed at getting any other vein. Argh!

Friday, July 06, 2007

16 1/2 weeks

Here it is, in all it's growing glory.... multiple angles for your added enjoyment! heeheehee
First pic: Sideview in maternity shirt; Second pic: Frontview in maternity shirt; Third pic: Normal everyday view (I rarely wear maternity shirts)

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy 4th!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Independence Day! Also hope everyone has nice weather! We had rain most of the day, but right now it's pretty nice so we're hoping it holds out. We just got back from getting some fireworks and we're hoping that the rain will hold off long enough for the display at the park scheduled for 9:15. So, weather permitting, we should have a great evening! Hope ya'll do as well!

Monday, July 02, 2007

16 week check-up

The appointment went pretty well today. I found out that my CBC came back low last time so I have to start taking iron supplements on top of my prenatals. And she gave me an Rx for col@ce since the iron tends to cause constipation. Really looking forward to that. Hopefully taking care of the anemia will help my energy level improve. I'm a bit concerned that they didn't call to tell me about the anemia before. My brief research tells me that allowing the anemia to continue throughout the first 2 trimesters can result in preterm delivery and low birth weight. Just seems like something they should have taken steps to correct earlier, rather than waiting until my next visit to tell me about it. Of course I didn't do my research until I got home, after forgetting to pick my meds up at the hospital. SO now I'm trying to convince my hubby to go see if they'll let him get them because I don't want to wait until Friday.

Found out that my urine sample was "contaminated" at my last visit so I have to retake that test. And I was supposed to take a glucose test after my last visit but the nurse I saw neglected to tell me. She marked it off my chart, apparently not bothering to see why it was there in the first place, just assuming I didn't need it. Because of the PCOS and my, uh, above average normal body weight, I'm predisposed to getting diabetes during pregnancy. And outside of pregnancy too for that matter. So anyways, I have to take a glucose test now then again at the normal 28 weeks or whenever they usually do it. Looks like I'll be going back on Friday to spend a bunch of time at the lab taking care of all of that. More fun.

Also found out that they can't get my op report from my c-section with my daughter. It seems that since the hospital she was born at has basically shut down, outsourcing all their patients to the city, they retired all their records to the records storage in St Louis. Apparently it usually takes a year to get those records pulled. How ridiculous is that? Why does it take a year to get my records from not even 3 years ago? I could see if I was requesting records from 1956 or something weird like that, but from 2004? What the heck? So it looks like they won't have my op report to review, which is always a nice thing when having a second c-section so they know what to expect. Oh well.

The jellybean was very cooperative today. The doc found the heartbeat pretty quick even though s/he was moving around a lot. Heart rate is basically in the 160's still, which is good. They were glad that I have been feeling some movement, and I'm hopeful that it will start becoming more frequent and more noticeable soon.

Scheduled my ultrasound for 30July. Even though the clinic keeps saying you can get it anywhere in the 18-20 week timeframe, the lab says you can't get it until at least 20 weeks. So that was disappointing, but I guess waiting 2 extra weeks isn't too bad. I'm a bit peeved though that I will have to be alone for my ultrasound. No children under 12 are allowed in the room, so my hubby will have to stay in the waiting room with our daughter. That really sucks. We've been telling her about the ultrasound and how she'll get to see the baby, and of course my hubby wants to be there. So like I said, I'm pretty peeved about that.... but at least I don't have to go with an overfull bladder this time. That sucked before - drinking a ton of water, then being kept waiting because they are running behind and you have to pee so bad. Then having them press down on your full bladder over and over during the ultrasound. So at least I have that to be happy about.

So, that's what's new here! Seems we have a nice healthy baby growing in there. Assuming everything goes well with the quad screen we should be good to go. Assuming....

Sunday, July 01, 2007

16 weeks and a difficult anniversary

Tomorrow (in about an hour!) I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. I have an appointment late in the morning and while I don't anticipate there being anything wrong, I'm always a little worried. Until I hear that heartbeat again, I will be holding my breath.

Tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of my Dad's death. 5 years ago tomorrow I was living 14 hours from my parents, for the first time in my life. My husband was in training and we had planned to make the drive home for the 4th of July, my Dad's favorite holiday. We had to wait until my husband's classes finished for the week, which would have been on the 3rd. We planned to drive straight through so we could be home for the 4th. On the morning of July 2nd, I got a phone call from my Mom that she had found my Dad dead in his chair downstairs. He was only 52. They didn't do an autopsy but the assumption was made that he probably had a massive heart attack or an embolism. Supposedly he went peacefully, because he was found sitting in his chair the way he always did, just no longer breathing. By the time my Mom found him, he was cold and nothing could be done. He had been dead for several hours.

To this day I wonder if things could have been different. I almost didn't go with my husband for his training. It came up at the last minute and our anticipated move got pushed back. If I hadn't gone for those 3 months, I would have been staying with my parents. In my old basement room, adjacent to the room my Dad spent all his time in. While I was still living there. I would check on him all the time. He had sleep apnea and every time his breathing would pause (anyone who's lived with someone who has it knows what I mean), I would hold my breath waiting for it to start again. If I had been there, I might have been aware when the heart attack or whatever it was hit him. If I had been there, maybe I could have called 911 immediately and he could have been saved. Everyone always says that there's nothing I could have done, but I think I will always have to live with wondering what if. It truly sucks that I will never know.

I also harbor a lot of anger at the timing of his death. 2 more days and I would have been there. Just 2 more days and at least I would have seen him and hugged him one last time. Because I was so far away, I didn't even get to say goodbye before he was taken to the funeral home and all the things were done that made him so unlike the man I knew. He was a large man and hugging him was like hugging the biggest teddy bear you could ever imagine. When they were done with him, it just didn't feel the same to touch him. He was cold and hard, not the warm soft Dad I knew and loved. It pains me to this day that I never got to say goodbye.

I'm sorry for the descriptions. I'm sure noone wants to hear that. But I want to get all this out.

I'm also saddened each day that he never got to know this wonderful granddaughter of his. That she will never know how wonderful her Papa was (that is what all the grandkids call him). That she (and her soon to be brother or sister) has been deprived of ever knowing what it means to have a grandfather of any kind. My husband and I both lost our fathers way too early. His grandfathers both died while he was young. I barely know one of my grandfathers and the other passed away last year. I can't help but feel that fate has dealt my family some horrible and unfair blows. What is this curse upon the males of our family? And will the curse continue? I pray to God that my daughter and expected child will never have to go through this. I pray that their Daddy will live a nice long life and the curse will be broken. I pray that we will both live to see our grandchildren born and grow up. Most of all I pray that my children will never experience this kind of pain. I know that I cannot prevent that, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

I'm off to have a good cry before I go to bed. Hopefully everything will go well at the appointment tomorrow and the day will pass uneventfully. I dread calling my Mom.... she's a wreck on a good day, so I know it will be terrible tomorrow. Wish me luck.

State Bird

For several weeks there has been a bird perching on the hanging plants outside my living room window. It has a beautiful singing voice and I love when it chooses to grace us with a song. A couple days ago, I discovered a nest in one of the trees in our front yard. Upon investigating, I discovered 4 eggs inside. Some brief research has taught me that they are mockingbird eggs. The mockingbird is the state bird of Texas and is well known for it's beautiful songs. Here are some pics of the eggs and nest.

We also had some birds build a nest in our hanging planter last year, but the eggs were a solid light blue - almost white. I think they were robin eggs, but I'm not positive as I haven't really looked them up. Seems we are pretty popular among the bird community! Must be the bird bath.....

Visitor to my yard

Went to go step up on the stones in my backyard that create a landscaped corner and caught sight of this. Gave me a bit of a heart attack! Though fairly confident he was harmless, I worried until I was able to find him on the internet. I'm pretty sure he is a checkered garter snake. Hubby wanted to pick him up to show our daughter. He was very happy I didn't let him when I read about the snake later. Seems they like to spread (nasty, smelly, lingering) feces on you when you pick them up to discourage you from wanting to keep them captured.