Thursday, April 28, 2011

It's been rough

Lots going on, many visits to doctors, therapists, trying to work with the school, participated in an Autism walk, incorrectly learned the brushing technique and possibly caused the multiple lengthy meltdowns my daughter had yesterday.
In the meantime, I've just been really desperate for support. I was so lucky to find a Facebook page with wonderful people on it, where I can go and talk, vent, learn, whatever. But it sure would be nice to actually be surrounded by a support group. With the exception of a couple of people, I feel like I literally have to beg for some support and/or understanding, and I still don't generally get it. It's discouraging, depressing, and it takes a toll on a gal. Hubby has been out of town a lot and dealing with everything by myself, 24 hours a day, is wearing me down. I haven't been at this low of a point in my depression for as long as I can remember and that scares me. Obviously, I will do what I have to do and that is keep truckin' along and do what is best for my family.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011


Sounds like a superhero name doesn't it? Well, it is. My daughter has officially been diagnosed with Asperger's and she is definitely a superhero. I will admit to being a bit overwhelmed, despite knowing that this was coming. Despite thinking I was, I actually wasn't truly prepared for everything involved in this. I've spent countless hours (days, weeks, months) researching it all, and the past 2 days have been spent fine-tuning a letter to the school requesting an IEP evaluation. Considering her teacher thinks she's a model student because she is super smart, reads well above her level, always brings in her homework, and doesn't cause any disruptions, I imagine the school is going to fight me on this. What they don't see is the extreme meltdowns and anger at home, especially after maintaining control all day in school. They don't see her telling me that she just spends recess by herself because no one wants to play with her. The don't see the hours we sometimes spend on a single homework sheet that should not take more than 5 or 10 minutes, because the instant she doesn't know exactly what to do, she shuts down, often screaming, and it takes a very long time before she is able to focus enough to attempt the problem again. They don't see how she acts differently from the other kids in a group. The other kids will be playing together and she will be off pouting by herself, telling you when asked that the other kids are mad at her and won't let her play, when really she is the one who is distancing herself and refusing to be part of the group. They don't see how my heart breaks when this happens, and how her heart is going to break when she starts to realize that she is not being included in everything the neighbor kids all do together.
They don't see that she is clearly fighting a battle every day and that I will do everything in my power to make sure she wins.