Saturday, December 30, 2006

Wow, am I really this blah?!

Okay, Tertia, one of my favorite bloggers, posted her results to this over on her blog and I was interested so I went and took the test too. My results are below, but not in table format because my percentages kept getting cut off the screen otherwise.

I'm not sure how I feel about my results...... the things in the trait snapshot are pretty accurate, but I'm not sure they truly sum me up. I guess I really do fit the description of depression, but I don't like that it seems to completely dominate my personality profile. Though I think the Hypersensitivity results are definitely accurate! No matter how hard I try to suppress it, I overreact to things and get very emotional, be it angry, upset or whatever over stupid things!

Those of you who know me..... does this test seem to show the true me pretty well? Please be honest!

By the way, I'm interested in your results too, so go take the quiz and share!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion |||||| 26%
Stability |||| 16%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||||| 23%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||| 43%
Artistic |||||||||| 36%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||| 23%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed |||| 16%
Conflict seeking |||| 16%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70%

Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||| 36%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality |||||| 23%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Peter pan complex |||||| 30%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical fitness || 10%
Histrionic |||| 16%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 43%
Vanity || 10%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Female cliche |||||||||||||| 56%

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Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:
depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist, not self revealing, does not make friends easily, suspicious, irritable, hates large parties, follows the rules, worrying, does not like to stand out, fragile, phobic, submissive, dislikes leadership, cautious, takes precautions, focuses on hidden motives, good at saving money, solitary, familiar with the dark side of life, hard working, emotionally sensitive, prudent, altruistic, heart over mind, unadventurous

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Merry Christmas!

I know it's technically not Christmas anymore, at least not in my timezone, but since I haven't gone to bed yet I say it's still Christmas!

We had such a wonderful day, I can only hope you all had as much fun as we did. Our little girl was so excited to open all her presents, and boy was she happy when she saw that Santa had delivered on his promise to bring her a Dor@ Doll House if she was a good girl. And our friends and family gave her such wonderful gifts too - we are truly blessed! We definitely miss having our family around during the holidays, but it was nice to talk to everyone on the phone. It sounds like they all had a great day too.

We're going to continue the fun tomorrow with a trip to Se@ World. It's supposed to be mostly sunny with a high of 67 so it should be a nice day. I just hope everyone else doesn't have the same idea!

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Holidays!

I can't believe it is Christmas Eve! I also can't remember the last time I was this excited about Christmas morning. This is the first year my daughter has shown an interest and understanding in Santa Claus and the whole presents thing. She does know that it is Baby Jesus' birthday, but as a 2 year old, she is definitely more concerned about the presents! I wrapped all but one of her gifts Friday night and her stocking stuffers are ready to go in her stocking. The only thing not wrapped is her big present she has been asking Santa for - a Dora Doll House. I hadn't planned on wrapping it, I was just going to set it up and put a big bow on it. But, she has never seen the dollhouse out of the box, she has only seen the box in the stores, so I thought that it would be better to let her unwrap the box and see that it is exactly what she has been asking for. I know, a bit silly, but I really want her to know that Santa came through on his promise to get her exactly that if she was a good girl. Because she has been a good girl. Sure, she can be a pain in the you-know-what at times, but isn't that the case with all 2 year olds? At the end of every day I have to admit that she was more good than 'bad' and that I would not trade my time with her for anything.

Now we just have to get working on what she wants for Christmas next year - a baby brother or sister!

Happy Holidays everyone! Enjoy your time with your family and/or friends and make some wonderful memories together......

Monday, December 18, 2006

It's official.

AF reared her ugly head this morning. I am definitely not pregnant. Of course, I thought I knew that already, but I was still holding that little tiny thread of hope until it got ripped out of my hands. Damn.
The fertility clinic returned my call this morning and asked how I'm doing. My response made it clear what had happened. Their response? "As you know, we're not doing cycles this month because of Christmas vacations, but we'll be happy to do another IUI for you next month." You know what I wanted to tell them? To shove their Christmas vacations up their you-know-what. Not that I think they don't deserve a vacation. But I do think that of the 5 or so doctors and countless nurses in the clinic, one of each could come in for 30 minutes on one of their vacation days to do my ultrasound and bloodwork. I think things that like go along with working in the medical field, and when you are talking about something as time-sensitive as infertility treatments, they should make some concessions.

My husband just called. He has to go out of town for work this week. We had lots of stuff planned for his 3 days off, but now that's all scrapped because some higher up asshole doesn't understand that it is the holidays and people want to spend time with their families. Or more likely that the higher up asshole is spending time with his family but doesn't care if others get to do the same or not. I find it interesting how my husband gets his vacation ruined for some stupid meeting, but the people at my clinic can't take an hour out of theirs to help save my sanity. Looks like we won't be starting another cycle until the end of January or early February.

Now please excuse me while I go into the bathroom to swear and cry before composing myself to take my daughter out for the day.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Can I get a beta please?

That is what I'm going to ask my doctor's office tomorrow. I'm going to tell them that I am 16dpiui (days past IUI)(as of tomorrow) and all my home tests have come up as negative as possible and that I would like a beta to confirm this. I'm feeling very sad and every time I see that damn blank white space where a nice pink line should be my heart breaks just a little bit more. AF is not here yet so supposedly there is still a chance I could be pregnant but it is pretty doubtful right now. I'm going to try to hold on to that tiny thread of hope until I get my beta results, but I have to admit that the thread is wearing very very thin and I'm not sure I can hang on to it much longer. I just want to know for sure so that I can try to move on. As long as I keep having to pee on a d@mn stick every day or two I am going to continue getting that sick to my stomach, can't breathe feeling every time I see the blank white space next to that pretty pink control line.
I'm going to east another truffle and try to drown my sorrows in chocolate, since I can't drown it in tequila until I have that beta.........

Sunburn in December.....

and not from a nice Caribbean vacation either. Just from being a complete dumba@@ who sat out in the direct sun for about 6 hours yesterday for a craft fair in an open, completely unshaded parking lot. Oh yeah, and it was about 80 degrees, sunny and clear. In freaking December! I will never get used to this Texas weather. And if I do, I'm sure it will be just in time for our next move.....

Thursday, December 14, 2006

So far, nothing but BFN

I couldn't wait. So I tested Tuesday, just to see if the hCG shot was out of my system, so if I later got a positive I could trust it. So, Tuesday was a BFN, which was good because the next positive test would then mean I was pregnant. So, I tested this morning. Another BFN. I'm definitely feeling discouraged. Sure, I still have two days before I was supposed to test, but when I got pregnant with my daughter, I tested early as well and got a positive several days early. I even got a confirmed positive blood test at 13dpo(days past ovulation). So i was kind of expecting to see a positive test by now. I think I will go to the store today and get a more sensitive test. So far I have used the dollar store ones. I'm going to get something like Fir$t Re$pon$e, that is supposed to be better when testing early. Who knows, maybe it will make a difference. I'm just not counting on it. I know, I should try to stay positive (ha! stay positive when negative!), but it's getting harder and harder as the days progress So..... I guess I'll update at some point after the next test. Maybe if we all pray hard enough, the results will be different next time!

Monday, December 11, 2006

The Waiting Game

I hate waiting! I have almost tested twice already, but I know it won't be accurate! I technically shouldn't test until Saturday...... but I'm really really tempted to test Wednesday. Or maybe Tuesday. Is there any chance testing tomorrow would do any good?

According to most doctors, you need to wait at least 2 weeks after your hCG trigger shot before taking a pregnancy test, because the tests monitor hCG and any that is still lingering from the shot will throw off the test and cause a false positive. So they say to wait two weeks for it to be out of your system. But, my non-doctor online resources (namely other infertiles!) say it's possible it will be gone as soon as 9 days after the shot. Tomorrow (today) will be 11 days post-trigger. 10.5 or so if I test in the morning. But.... the best thing to do is wait 2 weeks after the IUI. That would mean waiting until Saturday. My original plan was to compromise and test Wednesday (with additional tests to follow of course). But now I don't think I can wait that long! But if I test too soon and get a positive I have no way to know for sure if it's really positive! Argh! Such a dilemma!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

The deed has been done......

I am officially inseminated. The process itself wasn't too bad, just some pinching feelings. Since then though I've been getting some bad cramps, but that is supposed to be normal.

Now we begin the dreadful 2 week wait. I'm going to try to stay busy volunteering and Christmas shopping so I don't have as much time to obsess!