Okay, I need some sympathy here from those who understand because they have been there. We are a military family. Yes, we chose this life, but mainly because we would not have one otherwise since neither of us could find work when we got married. Anyways, we move every 4 years. We have no family nearby. My husband is sent out of town pretty frequently, usually on short notice. If I'm sick, tough, there is no one to help. My husband and I have been out by ourselves maybe 5 times since my daughter was born 5 1/2 years ago. He was also deployed for my past 2 birthdays, probably more I just can't remember. He was deployed for last Thanksgiving, our sons first birthday, and Christmas. When he is gone, there is no one here to help me. I do it all, without a break. When he is here, I still do it all, because he works long hours and there is no one else. My husband is having surgery next week and will be put to sleep for it. Will I be at the hospital in case something goes wrong? No, because I can't keep the kids up there for hours, so I will be home with them, waiting for the hospital to call me to pick my husband up. My daughter will likely be either late for school or miss it completely.
Why am I ranting about this? Because I am sick to death of certain people who have no idea what it's like telling me I have it easy. When these people have a mother living very close by who watches the kids for free whenever they want to go anywhere, be it an appointment, the store, etc, takes the kids to and from school when it is inconvenient for the parents, has the kids all spend the night so Mom and Dad can get a break, it seems to me that they are the ones who have it easy. They spend every holiday with both sides of their families. They have no idea what it is like to not have Daddy around for days, much less weeks or months.
So please, anyone else who has been in my situation, please extend a little sympathy, because I am so sick of hearing how easy I have it just because I don't (can't) work outside the home. I promise to return the favor!
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7 comments:
Lots of sympathy. We live overseas so have no family to help but do have each other and that is hard enough.
It sucks. You don't have it easy. BUT. You are doing a WONDERFUL job with your kids. They are healthy and happy and smart. They will be big enough to WANT to stay with friends before too long so I hope that a light at the end of the tunnel (though years distant, I understand) will help you through this time.
I can't imagine anyone ever saying that to any SAHM, much less a military SAHM! I am the one who has it extremely easy. I go to work and leave my daughter home with my husband who cooks my meals. Both sets of parents are close by and they want Z all the time. And yet I still complain, constantly. Shame on those dodo brains who give you a hard time.
So glad to see you back :)
Thanks so much! I know that everyone has hard times and difficult things in their life and such. But sometimes it is just so needed to hear that people understand.
I promise to post some pictures of my kids soon as a happiness booster on my blog!
Caro - we may very likely get an overseas assignment next, and as much as I am looking forward to seeing other parts of the world, it really scares me to be so far away from family and friends. It must be tough!
Furrow - thanks! Honestly, I admire your ability to leave your little one at home with Daddy! I've always had a hard time letting my husband take over, maybe because he never much took the initiative, but also because I'm very stubborn about things having to be done my way, especially with my kids. You are a brave woman to venture outside the "norm" by being the one who works outside the home and I admire that!
MamaChristy, you know you are one who I always know I will get support from! You are not military, but are in a similar situation as far as not having much help, and a husband who works long hours. You too are doing a wonderful job! I miss you!
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