Thursday, August 25, 2011

What a long strange trip it's been...

and it's not over yet! Still in the midst of everything here. My son has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder as well, and of course his presents opposite of his sisters so that they can feed off each other and drive me even crazier. Waiting to get his therapy started. We'll likely be looking at speech therapy for him again too.
Despite the recommendation of every expert who has dealt with my daughter, the school continues to refuse evaluation. I really should be looking into how to battle them, but I just can't find the energy. I know they are breaking the law by refusing my request for evaluation, but I just don't know if I'm ready to fight that battle on my own.
I'm beat. Seriously, this has all take such a toll on me, I don't recognize myself anymore. I'm so angry all the time, and when I'm not angry, I'm crying. I can't take the constant fighting, crying, screaming, anger, etc, etc from these kids. There is rarely a moment of peace and quiet in this house unless they are both sleeping. My almost 4 year old will not stop jumping and climbing on everyone and everything, he still puts everything in his mouth and bounces off the walls all day long like his sister does. My daughter suddenly hates school and never wants to go, but they tell me how great she does all day. At home, she's like a bomb ready to explode and you never know what will light the very short fuse. She alternates between that and crying that she just wants to be with me all the time, as if she were a 2 year old with separation anxiety.
People keep telling me that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I'm thinking God got it wrong with me. No one should have to handle this much crap by themselves. I trust in God, but how can I continue to believe He has a plan in place when no one can give me any answers to my questions, still, and no one can advise me on how to make things better for my family. I can't grin and bear it any more. It's killing me.

4 comments:

MamaChristy said...

God doesn't have a blueprint, he has a game plan. If we have free will, He can't force us down any path. I don't think you have to handle this by yourself - your husband needs to be an advocate for his kids and a support for you. Give you a weekend off, research how to get the school to assist you - do a bit more than just his work. That's important, but the most important earthly relationships are suffering and there has got to be something he can do to support you. Tell me what I can do to help.

PCOSMama said...

Come be my advocate. :)

Anonymous said...

I would be careful in what you write. There are some strong words written here that could be taken the wrong way and used against you.

PCOSMama said...

by whom?