My daughter has developed quite a problem with talking back. She will be 3 in August and I swear that she has the attitude of a 13 year old. Ask her nicely to do something - No. Tell her to do it - NO. Tell her to please do it or she will be in trouble - NONONONONONONONONONO. Ask her if she'd rather go in the corner - YES. So tell her to go to the corner - NONONONONONONONONONONONO. Make her go to the corner - she screams, yells, shouts, cries, hyperventilates, gags, etc. All she has to do is calm down and apologize, but she will not do it, she'd rather throw her temper tantrum. She denies doing wrong - when we tell her the reason she is in trouble is because she did such-and-such, she responds with "No I didn't." A 2 minute time out usually ends up taking 10 minutes or more for her (and me) to calm down.
This child has an answer for everything and she contradicts everything that is said to her. If you tell her to please stop climbing on you because it hurts, she says "No it doesn't hurt." And also doesn't stop climbing on you. And so begins the whole process again, ending in the corner. If we ask her to please stop jumping off the furniture because she could get hurt, she says "No. I'm not gonna get hurt." I swear, I have no idea what to do anymore. We've tried repeatedly telling her calmly not to do things - she doesn't stop no matter how many times she is told. We've tried timeouts where I hold her on my lap - now that I'm pregnant, I can't be doing that because she hurts me. We've tried ignoring it. We've tried explaining that it is wrong to talk back, and explaining what talking back is. Now we've moved on to the corner. And the times that she continues to talk back while she's in the corner, we take a toy away for a while. Yet her mouth just keeps getting worse. At times it takes every ounce of energy I have to keep from beating the crap out of her. She has gotten spanked on the butt a few times, but it seems to make no difference. Sometimes when I am at my wits end and she has pushed me too far, I snap a little. When I've absolutely had it and she is refusing to go to the corner continuously shouting no at me, I push her towards it.
I don't think I have the right temperament to deal with this stubborn of a child. She is the most obstinate toddler I have ever known. I have no patience. I'm afraid I'm doing her damage by yelling at her so much, and especially the pushing her towards the corner. I shouldn't push her, I know that, but I can't seem to help myself. Honestly, I think it has happened 3 times now. Today I think I had a witness to my breakdown, so I guess if CPS doesn't show up at my door tomorrow then maybe I'm not as bad as I think. Sometimes I think I'm an unfit mother because I can't control my temper. No, I don't beat my child, but sometimes I really feel like it. I can't seem to deal with her calmly. She pushes every button I have, over and over and over. I'm exhausted and I just can't take it anymore. To top it all off, the child never shuts up. Never. She talks
nonstop. So when it's been a hard day and I'm tired and I just need some peace and quiet to calm down, I can't get it. I've tried locking myself in the bathroom - she bangs on the door and shouts to me. I go upstairs - she follows. I ask her to please just be quiet for 5 minutes - she seems to be incapable. Her normal voice sounds like shouting and it grates on my nerves by the end of the day sometimes.
She's incredibly smart (really, she is) and I wonder if that has something to do with it somehow. She talks as well as a 4 or 5 year old, knows her alphabet, colors, etc, can do some counting of objects, tells elaborate stories, sings a bunch of songs by heart, etc. Maybe she's not getting the intellectual stimulation she needs and it's causing her to act out? Maybe she's just not getting enough one-on-one attention - I have been super tired this pregnancy and don't have the energy to play with her as much? I thought I'd try teaching her some stuff, like which letters are which and some words, because I think she's ready and also because it's something we can do together while sitting nicely, but she doesn't seem to be able to sit still for it. I've always called her my ADD child but people tell me it's too soon for that. She really is the most active child I (and my Mom who has 7 grandchildren, my mother-in-law, and several of our friends) have ever seen - constantly on the move, never sitting still for more than a minute or two, when she does sit she squirms around all the time, she talks nonstop, and is just plain
hyper all the time. Am I just looking for excuses or is this not normal?
Any advice? I can take some criticism, but please, if you're going to tell me I'm doing it all wrong and/or have a serious problem, please do it nicely. I feel bad enough!
P.S. I just wanted to add that this isn't how every day is. And it's not all we do, yell and fight. We spend a lot of time having fun and cuddling and stuff like that too. I love my daughter with all my heart, I just don't know how to discipline her properly.
We were supposed to be getting a pair of kittens, a brother and a sister, to be named Dor@ & Dieg0, after our daughter's 2 favorite tv characters. The girl kitten got adopted the night before we went to complete our paperwork, but I think we got a good deal with this little guy anyways! He's a real sweetie and doesn't seem afraid of our loud, rambunctious daughter who can't sit still. 
