Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Odds are getting slimmer and slimmer...

Negative again. According to the instructions, 93% of pregnant women would have a positive test by today. And according to the internet, that is allowing for 6% screwing up the test somehow. In lab testing by the companies themselves, 99% of pregnant women would have a positive by today. Since I would consider myself a damn hpt expert, as I'm sure most infertiles would, that means that there is a 1% chance that I am pregnant. I think it's pretty safe to say that I'm not pregnant. I'll use my last hpt tomorrow and then just wait for AF to come. She should be here by Friday. I'm really not sure if we can fit in another cycle either.... hubby has trips for work, have to decide if there's any chance of getting in a whole cycle before he could be leaving.

SO I'm just wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'm not supposed to get my hopes up, because it just makes the negative results worse. But how the hell can you go through something like this without having hope? You have to have hope that the treatments will work. And how about when you are developing some possible symptoms of pregnancy? Damn it, I had strange cramps and twinges at the right time for implantation, I've had a couple bouts of nausea (no vomiting, but feeling like I could), my bre@sts have been a little tender, my stomach has been more sensitive and upset, my lower abdomen feels a little 'tight' or 'full', and I've got horrible acne and oily skin issues. These certainly aren't normal PMS symptoms for me. Well, except the acne. Oh, and have I mentioned the freaking exhaustion? Guess it must all be caused by the extra hormones from the injections. But dammit, I feel pregnant and I am totally pissed right now! I really feel like having a nice long rant on the complete unfairness of all of this shit. Actually, what I really feel like doing is vegging out on the couch, watching whatever I want to watch, and even being able to hear it, instead of the non-stop jabbering/shouting of a 2 year old!

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